Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
