She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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