There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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