worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
