If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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