I don't think brook has ever known best
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Vodka?
Forever.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
