I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You need Xanax blowdarts
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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