He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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