The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I love you.
Bad choice
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
