if you like me you must not know who I am
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize