My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
only if we run a train.
done.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
