I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
