okay pat passed out under dana's car
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
