I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
