What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
