He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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