oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
