Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
3 2 1 whiskey
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
