Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
