I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
They have beer where we have blood.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
