Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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