So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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