I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
