he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
