Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
