Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
