so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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