We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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