That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
