well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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