I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
