You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
