"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
