I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
