Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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