quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
