Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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