just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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