One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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