Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
