I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
