and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize