Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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