Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?

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(314): View more from Missouri

You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.

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(303): View more from Colorado

All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.

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(310): View more from California

This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life

(562): View more from California

Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I regret nothing

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Not even Married Dan?

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

I regret one thing

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