he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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