HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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