He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
