If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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