does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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