This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
