therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
