Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
