i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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