I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize