All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
