I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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