i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hippo gnu deer
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
