you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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